Michael Bay has reassured fans of the Transformers franchise that the final part of his trilogy will contain absolutely no story or indeed any kind of plot. The auteur’s directorial decision was made in order to avoid the pitfalls which have beset other celebrated sequels to sequels, such as, The Matrix Revolutions, Back to the Future III and Are You Being Served 3: Bender in Benidorm. “We’re certainly not going to make the same mistakes those guys did, with their stories, their characterisations and all that trying to tie everything together nonsense. This one is for the fans, you know, guys who get headaches if they don’t see something blown up within the first minute.”The action is due to be set in a dystopian near-future in which the U.S. is taking part in an intergalactic missile-firing contest. It will see the hero firing as many missiles as he can whilst running in slow motion to dodge the missiles fired at him by gigantic killer robots, that like to fire missiles. “The climax is a beautifully poignant scene,” said Bay, “just at the point where it looks like the hero might have given up all hope and lost the battle, he picks himself up and launches twenty thousand missiles whilst singing the Star Spangled Banner and wrapping himself in an American flag.”
Bay was also asked how he had managed to top the original Transformers movie with his forthcoming sequel Transformers 2: Bang Bang Whoosh Whoosh. “It definitely wasn’t easy,” said Bay, “what you’ve got here is a franchise that a lot of people have a great personal attachment to, and making the second movie even better is a tough job. We looked at everything, character development, narrative evolution, even making the whole thing more believable, but in the end we settled on seeing a bit more of Megan Fox’s breasts.”
