In a move that has shocked playgrounds around the country, the prefects of the F1 School have refused to play with the boys in the lower years, because the latter’s toys weren't good enough. The renegade boys have turned their noses up at the offer of playing racing cars, sword fights and marbles, as the younger boys had refused to either spend over forty million pounds on a jungle gym, or relinquish their right to one hand one bounce.
The group of rich toffs including Sebastian Ferrari, Oscar McLaren and Quentin Toyota, decided last week that they were fed up with the spotty Herberts getting in the way of their fun: and broke away to form their own playground. It is rumoured that their new rules will allow them to go first on the swings and ensure that no oiks are on the seesaw by the time they come out from double Maths.
Though the spokesperson for the group was unavailable given the need for his daily money-bath in preparation for a chukka of unicorn polo, the F1 bursar was willing to make a statement. He summarised the disagreement between the boys as coming down to one point of principle, “basically most teams want to flaunt their wealth like Lady Gaga flaunts her genitals. However, the breakaway teams also want the right to whip out their massive wads of cash and stuff it into people’s face going ‘Yeah, you’d like some of that, wouldn’t you, you smelly peasant?’ Y'see?"Speaking from a golden throne carried on the shoulders of twelve lingerie-clad ‘close personal friends’ the F1 headmaster, Max Moseley, declared that he didn’t really give six shits about who did what as long as he “still got invited to all the after race parties.” He later returned to the press conference to add “...wink wink.”
