A major manhunt was launched today following an attack on Lord Mandelson. The Business Secretary was stunned entering a low-carbon summit in London when he was pelted with green custard by a mystery assailant. Scotland Yard believe the choice of weapon may be key to identifying those behind the attack. Sources close to the commissioner have revealed that the use of a ludicrously coloured foodstuff points unmistakably to a shadowy body known only as the “Seuss” organization.
A militant wing of this same group is believed to have been behind last year’s siege of the Uruguayan Parliament: when ten heavily-armed “Cats In Hats” took forty-two hostages. A tense stand-off ensued as the hostage takers issued their demands, ranging from a car made out of toffee apples and cream cakes for anyone named Walter, but negotiations stalled on their third demand for an end to political corruption, which the government dismissed as being unworkable. The siege ended in a bloody shoot-out with three Cats In Hats gunned down. A revenge attack saw Floob-Boober-Bab-Boober-Bubs blow himself up in a crowded market in Accra.
A militant wing of this same group is believed to have been behind last year’s siege of the Uruguayan Parliament: when ten heavily-armed “Cats In Hats” took forty-two hostages. A tense stand-off ensued as the hostage takers issued their demands, ranging from a car made out of toffee apples and cream cakes for anyone named Walter, but negotiations stalled on their third demand for an end to political corruption, which the government dismissed as being unworkable. The siege ended in a bloody shoot-out with three Cats In Hats gunned down. A revenge attack saw Floob-Boober-Bab-Boober-Bubs blow himself up in a crowded market in Accra.
More liberal supporters of Seussianism have been quick to distance themselves from the more radical elements believed to be carrying out the attacks; insisting that they are a pacifist organization, committed to world peace, the continued discolouring of foodstuffs in a 
humorous fashion and wacky poetry. In response to the latest attack, the foundation released the following statement:
humorous fashion and wacky poetry. In response to the latest attack, the foundation released the following statement:Wasps are in the pantry,
boiling all my shoes,
A crow shouts “Dragonfly”,
he's blowing Penny Chews.
A duck sits reading,
wearing mouse's hooves,
But sliming dear poor Mandy?
I cannot this approve.
boiling all my shoes,
A crow shouts “Dragonfly”,
he's blowing Penny Chews.
A duck sits reading,
wearing mouse's hooves,
But sliming dear poor Mandy?
I cannot this approve.
The police enquiry continues.
