Malawian authorities were facing further criticism of their decision to fast track Madonna’s adoption application after it emerged that she merely intends using the child to extend her youth. Concerns were raised over the process, when she told a court that she would be looking to give the child a good home in return for "its essence, its lovely, pure essence." Asked to elaborate further on what she had said, the actress and part-time singer replied, "I must fly," before disappearing in a cloud of black smoke.
Madonna already has one African child named David who has only once been seen in public. Those that saw him allege they observed marks on his arms that could only be explained if he was going through a process of monthly blood-letting under a full moon in worship of Hebe, the Greek goddess of youth. Adopting orphans seems to be the latest of Madonna’s attempts to hold on to her craggy, gap-toothed looks. In the past she has tried ingesting the spleens of werewolves, drinking the urine of hawks and divorcing Guy Ritchie.
Yet Madonna is not the only grade-A mediocrity alleged to be going through a wacky process of attempted rejuvenation. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are reported to hold weekly bacchanalia in which they dance around naked with their sprogs, whilst Max Mosely is flogged by a Vulcan priest and three peacocks re-enact various tales of mystery. However, a spokesperson for the couple strenuously denied any peacocks were present, while Madonna’s press secretary dismissed as "ludicrous" the idea that his client would get mixed up in any form of pseudo-religious mumbo jumbo.
Madonna already has one African child named David who has only once been seen in public. Those that saw him allege they observed marks on his arms that could only be explained if he was going through a process of monthly blood-letting under a full moon in worship of Hebe, the Greek goddess of youth. Adopting orphans seems to be the latest of Madonna’s attempts to hold on to her craggy, gap-toothed looks. In the past she has tried ingesting the spleens of werewolves, drinking the urine of hawks and divorcing Guy Ritchie.
Yet Madonna is not the only grade-A mediocrity alleged to be going through a wacky process of attempted rejuvenation. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are reported to hold weekly bacchanalia in which they dance around naked with their sprogs, whilst Max Mosely is flogged by a Vulcan priest and three peacocks re-enact various tales of mystery. However, a spokesperson for the couple strenuously denied any peacocks were present, while Madonna’s press secretary dismissed as "ludicrous" the idea that his client would get mixed up in any form of pseudo-religious mumbo jumbo.
