The future of the Home Secretary was looking increasingly bleak as it has emerged that she had hired a gimp, and tried to claim Mr. Must Be Punished on government expenses. The revelation comes only days after Smith's husband admitted invoicing the taxpayer for such porno flicks as Bananarama Eat Carpet and Animal Farm.
Jacqui Smith initially claimed that her slave was hired to help in the office and to make sure that constituents had a point of contact. However, Mrs. Smith has now been forced to admit that the gimp did no such kind of work and was only there to be the subject of Smith's deranged peccadilloes.In the aftermath of the revelations, Mr. Must Be Punished has been the subject of intense media scrutiny, of which he has said, "Yes, more, please more." In an interview that could be potentially disastrous for the Home Secretary, Mr. Must Be Punished described Smith's proclivities and what he would be forced to do when complying with her wishes. "She's a very angry woman," he said, speaking whilst handcuffed to a radiator, "she would call me all kinds of insults. She said I had the nipples of a dwarf, that I was diseased beyond decency and that I was nothing but a wet fart destined for failure. However, I had to draw a line when she said I had a face like a sad Jack Straw. There're some forms of degradation even I won't take."
