Ryanair passengers to power their own flights

He has proposed a charge for using the toilet, a tax on those that cannot avoid stuffing their mouth with chips and asks for money for the simple task of checking in. Now Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary has unveiled his lastest plan for annoying every other single airline on the planet. From next year, Ryanair passengers will be allowed to remain in their seats or be able to take advantage of a discount and power their flight through an extensive session on a treadmill.

O'Leary defended the proposed venture saying, "Have you seen the price of fuel these days? It's ridiculous. And you see all these people on the plane, just sitting there, not doing a fecking thing apart from reading or desperately holding on whilst the only toilet is in use.

"I thought to myself, the plane's doing all the work here. These lazy feckers are having the time of the lives, buying crappy sandwiches and paying over the odds for drinks. Let's get 'em working."

Trial runs of the new scheme have already been tried with some success. Around one hundred and forty people were able to give a Boeing 747 a jump start and the galleys that keep the wings flapping have been operating at near full efficiency.

Less successful have been the attempts to replace the breaking devices with people holding their hands against the ground as they try and bring the plane to a stop. One passenger Edward Bridges told of his attempts to scrimp money back. "I was one of the people trying to make the plane skid to a halt by dragging my feet outside the window. But all we ended up doing was crashing into the terminal and taking several layers of skin off my hand. But I did save thirty quid. Nice one!"