In his statement, the pontiff Pope Benedict XVI made his message about the chance to join the papacy. Speaking on the QVC Shopping and Religious Affairs Channel, the Pope said, "Hi, I'm Joseph and I'm here to talk to you today about the wonderful benefits of Catholicism. You know, people often say to me 'Hey Jo, I want to get to heaven but I belong to a branch of Christianity that does not hold to a literal interpretation of the Bible. There's got to be an easier way!' Well help is at hand.
"Our conversions to the Catholic faith are out of this world. If you're not satisfied with the acceptance of transubstantiation and the promotion of the Tridentine mass, I'll whip a monkey. I like the product so much, I run the whole damn business!"
The invitation by the Pope has drawn criticism from the Anglican Church who are desperate not to lose any more believers from their dwindling flock. The Archbishop of Canterbury said, "Catholicism may offer many things such as moral absolutism, hotter women and the chance to win a new kitchen in the colour of your choice.
"But the Church of England can offer a great deal of things to any interested worshipper. Things such as cup of tea plus the chance to opt back in when you're faced with imminent death. Name me one other branch of Christianity that does that. Other than the Unitarians, the Baptists and the one where they worship Jesus in the form of a leopard."
However, many within the Church of England fear the pull of the papacy, especially given the Catholic church's unveiling of its new slogan: "The Catholic church: Because we know what you've done."
