Is Susan Boyle joining the Sugababes?

No, that would be stupid. But the ever changing line-up of one of the most successful British girl groups means a space will shortly be opening up. The only remaining founding member of the group, Keisha Buchanan was kicked out of the band following a row with the record company, which is rumoured to be over the look for their next video. Buchanan was said to be favouring a hommage to 1930s Hollywood glamour with flowing dresses and floral prints. The record company thought it would be better if they danced around in their pants. The Chum Bucket looks at the runners and riders for the coveted chance to get in front of a camera and point at their bum.

Kerry Katona - odds 6/4

Pros: Has experience of being in a girl band. Has plenty of time on her hands. Would not be fazed by the excesses of showbusiness. Has shown that she is able to slim down time after time after time

Cons: Is a bit mental.

Carol Thatcher - odds 7/2

Pros: Knows what it takes to be part of a long-standing dynasty with a history of success and crushing any opposition. Has plenty of time on her hands. After having Margaret Thatcher for her mother, the pressures of singing in front of a live audience would be no problem.

Cons: Is a bit racist

Dustin Hoffman - odds 18/1

Pros: Is a showbusiness guy. Has experience of working with powerful and assertive women. Can pull off wearing a dress.

Cons: Is busy working his own album, a folk funk freakout collaboration with the Insane Clown Posse

Catherine the Great - odds 14/5

Pros: Feisty. Secured Russia as a major European force in the 18th century. Proved adept at managing competing interests within her court. A freethinker who associated with some of the finest minds of her time.

Cons: Dead. Banged horses.