Swiss to allow building of minarets if they are made from Nazi gold

Swiss authorities have reacted quickly to accusations of Islamophobia by ammending the ban applied to the building of minarets. The towers which are used to give the call to prayer will be allowed to be erected if they can also be used as tax havens. Swiss Minister for the Interior, Claude Gaston said, "We are not biased against Muslims, we just want them to fit in with our values. Those values of appeasement, hoarding money and producing substantially inferior chocolate products. And if they could yodel the call to prayer, that would be the icing on the overly rich cake."

The move to ban minarets had been brought by a mass petition who see the towers as a growing threat of Islamisation. Geneva resident Hans Revenue said, "They come over here and they take our town space, reflecting the growing Muslim population within Europe. I tell you, it's a bloody disgrace. The next thing will be them wanting some kind of recognition for their faith. I mean, did we win the Crusades or what?"