The extent of Britain’s poverty was confirmed when the Sunday Times Rich List contained a surprising entry amongst the bankers and entrepreneurs; a swan.The inclusion of the bird reflects the way in which the standards for entry onto the wealth-porn magazine have fallen in light of the economic downturn. Speaking about the swan’s position, editor of publication, Roger Harper said, “It shows the ruin we’ve landed in. Sugar’s been on the blower, giving it all that ‘cos he’s up to 59th. I told him that he’s only there ‘cos he managed to get away with only losing £100 million.”
The decline in Britain’s wealth meant that several unlikely candidates were close to making the cut. “There was Noddy, he’s had a great year. Sally Gunnell was close but she needed to do the shopping for the week and so she trailed off. My tip for next year is to expect to see a few cardinals get in. There’s always money in God-bothering, mark my words.”
Although the animal’s wealth is only estimated at £400,000, this is enough to put him at joint 892nd place. The recession has hit the majority of multimillionaires exceedingly hard although experts believe that they will be cushioned against the fall by the massive piles of money that they have accumulated over the years. One of the biggest losers on the list is Robbie Williams. He has not only seen his wealth shrink by £25 million pounds but he has also gone mental. Experts predict that he might be able to recover his earning power but only if he stops going on about UFOs and goes back to producing middle of the road hokum for berks.
