Iran cuts off all contact with Loose Women

The regime in Iran has severed all ties with Western broadcasting, insisting that the Iranian population is at risk of being corrupted by the satanic influence of Location, Location, Location. An official spokesperson for the government outlined the reasons why they are shutting themselves off from The One Show. Gholamhossein Elham, the official spokesman for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's government condemned those whom he accused of waging a "soft war" against the regime.

"I see these programmes as having a clear intent on subverting the ideals of our government. One such example is Deal or No Deal, which espouses the idea that we can be in control of our fate. This is poisonous as we all know that our lives are controlled by the will of Allah. That, and Noel Edmonds is an utter anus."

The Iranian regime is widely known for being suspicious about outside influences. It has previously lashed out at the producers of the Hollywood film 300, accusing it of negatively portraying the Persians in a negative light. However, the producers hit back, saying that their film portrayed the medium of cinema in a bad light.