Prime Minister Gordon Brown apologised on behalf of all politicians today, for the row over expenses; claiming that it was never their intention for anyone to find out. The apology has been triggered by the revelation of MPs claims in several newspapers, detailing the level of gorging that has been going on for years. “It was an honest mistake,” said Brown, “a mistake that was made hundreds and hundreds of times, over and over again, with no intention of trying to correct the procedure that meant this mistake couldn’t be stopped from happening again.”
The apology follows on from the expenses claims made by members of parliament for seemingly trivial items. Cheryl Gillian, the shadow Welsh secretary claimed for dog food, a dog collar, visits to the vet in order to treat her sick dog and a kennel in to house her dog in. Cheryl Gillian does not have a dog. Speaking inside her newly renovated house, Gillian confirmed that she would be paying the money back, although this would then be claimed back in expenses.
Other politicians include Michael Gove who claimed £5,000 for “stuff and shit”. Asked what was entailed in this particular claim, Gove replied, “You know, like, stuff, stuff stuff. Stuff you need and shit. Just stuff and all that kind of stuff. Listen, I’m keeping the money. Cameron claims a fiver a day for ‘his magic fingers’, whatever the hell that means. Why can’t I get in on some of that action?” Gordon Brown went on to say that he would be regulating the expenses system so that it would be harder to find out about these sorts of details in future.
