Thursday 24 December 2009

Travel chaos reeks havoc with Britain's doggers

The large amounts of snow and ice on Britain's roads have made life hell for the British public. The dangerous weather conditions have made life precarious for those looking to get to relatives, those delivering presents and those spazzing off to people banging each other in cars. Britian's doggers are facing numerous problems over the festive period such as traffic jams, black ice and frostbite of the knackers.

Experienced dogger Mike Turner recalls one such incident. "We were watching a couple going at it in a layby near the turn-off for the M6. This was classic dogging. It was bloody cold but everyone was getting into it. I was on the bonnet looking in when I realised that my ballbag had got frozen onto the windscreen. I had to tap on the window and ask if the couple had any de-icer. They didn't. In the end, I had to chip it off with a credit card."

Mr. Turner's ill-fortune is symptomatic of the luck befalling those who get off from watching gang bangs in trucks. Police constable Trevor Gibbs reports on the trouble doggers have got themselves into. "We had a man who was simply trying to get some sleep in a car park after a long journey. Suddenly he is confronted by the sight of tens of people dropping their trousers and rubbing themselves up agaisnt the car. When he explained his situation, I'm told that there were tears. Angry, angry tears."