Wednesday 9 December 2009

Family urge anti-capitalist son not to be an asshole around Christmas

A family based in Bromley has put out an urgent appeal to their son begging him to not ruin Christmas by shouting excerpts of Karl Marx at anyone wielding a cracker. The Hudsons, a family of four, are concerned that their son's militant tendencies will spoil the holiday season through harranguing his relatives with anti-capitalist rhetoric.

Mr. Hudson said, "Eric is a perfectly pleasant boy but he has just spent his first term at university and has picked up ideas that he doesn't really understand. He goes on and on about free markets and plutocracies. But when you ask him who Alan Greenspan is, he says he's a member of N-Dubz. I mean, that's possibly true but I'm pretty sure he does do other stuff."

However, Eric Hudson is unrepentant at his attitude to the festive season. "Don't give me all that stuff about people coming together, presents and happiness. It's about money and corporations and greed and yeah. It's just another phoney dressed up charade to fool us into perpetuating the capitalist system that enslaves us and exploits us and yeah." When asked if knew what quantative easing meant, Hudson replied, "Yeah, it's when you film someone shoplifting from Lidl. Safe."