Obama to snub William 'Braveheart' Wallace to appease the English

Following on from President Obama's snub of the Dalai Lama in order to ensure good tax breaks from China, the leader of the United States has confirmed that he will not be meeting with noted terroriser of the English armies, William 'Braveheart' Wallace. The reason behind this is a calculated endorsement of the relationship between the United States and the small island which sometimes proves useful as a military base in times of international conflict.

A spokesperson for the White House issued the following statement, "Although we are delighted to welcome Mr. Wallace and his band of pillagers and looters to our nation's capital, the President will be too busy dealing with other matters to talk to him about his issues of the importance of investing in shortbread and increased taxation on any food that isn't deep fried and covered in 'sos'."

Mr. Wallace was understandably furious at the snub saying, "Es tipical o these political c*nts. Ah got things to talk aboot but thae no wanna listen. Ah come all thus way by longboat to talk to the President but he's nae having it. Ah thot this wooz the land o the free boot it nae is. Youse all a bunch a c*nts."