Thursday 22 October 2009

Millions expected to watch Question Time pantomime special

The BBC is looking forward to bumper viewing figures ahead of its Question Time pantomime special. Normally home to plodding political debate, this week's programme will tell the story of evil BNP leader Nick Griffin and his quest to steal a magic lamp from a sleeping beauty giant with a magic beanstalk. In boots. The programme will have the familiar interactive element with the audience able to boo every time Griffin says, "Now I'm not a racist but...', to which the audience will shout, "Oh yes you are!"

Other roles include Jack Straw who will play a brave but feeble-minded prince whilst his floundering and even more feeble-minded sidekick will feature Liberal Democrat Home Affairs spokesman Chris Huhne.

The roles of the Aesthetically-challenged Sisters will be taken by Bonnie Greer and Baronness Warsi. Veteran broadcaster David Dimbleby will take up the role of Buttons, the lovable scamp who will finish the night with a song.

A BBC insider said, "We're really excited about this. We're getting candy floss, toffee apples and everything. Some might say that this just shows how pathetic mainstream politics has become, that we're reduced to some childish bantering backwards and forwards without actually discussing the vital issues of the day. But those people I would say this, there's fricking candy floss!"

There has been a fair amount of controversy over Griffin's appearance but the BNP leader seems unfazed by it all. "Listen darling," said Griffin, "I've been in this game for a long time and I've seen it all. I've had eggs thrown at me, been jeered and do you know what, I've loved every minute of it. That's what it's all about, getting a rise out of people. You don't think I believe all that stuff about racial segregation do you? It's a laugh darling, I'll do a little goose step, casually drop in a reference to Oswald Moseley and make a joke about wearing a brown shirt. It's all giggles luvvie, just giggles."

One person working on the programme who asked to remain anonymous said, "This is a f**king travesty."