China's iPhones will be able to censor their users

China has finally made the breakthrough that the rest of the world achieved many years ago: complete subservience to technology. The Apple Corporation have struck a deal with one of China's biggest phone companies to ensure that an entire nation will be forever showing off how much their new gadget is able to substitute for their own cerebral processes. Ru Chen, an excited new user said, "It's great. Before I had to use my brain and deep thought to do things like read maps and perform mental arithmetic. But now that's all been taken away from me. Result!"

The Chinese iPhone will come with an inbuilt application that will be able to monitor users' calls, messages and thoughts. The application will be able to pick up on any criticism of the government and its policies. Anything resembling dissent will result in immediate blanking of the words used, which has resulted in some unfortunate messages. Sun Mao relays his own personal story of misinformation. "I sent a text to a friend saying 'I had to work late for the government. Real suck. Just doing this job for the money'. I found out it was edited to 'I had to suck for money'. Although my mate did then text back offering to take me to this club he knows."