The series exploded into life with the arrival of Katie Price, the model formerly known as Jordan who formerly was quite pretty until she took a scalpel to her face. Until then, the cast had been stalking each other like panthers, unsure whether they were in the presence of celebrity or just a dick in a cork hat. With the introduction of Katie Price, Lucy Benjamin stammered, “It’s that one, the one who has got massive funbags and pretends to write books. This must be a reality TV show!”
This set off a spiral of discoveries as each began to recognise one another. Kim Woodburn was the next to be worked out and formerly unmasked as the person who is filmed telling other people that they are living in filth. Questions still remain over Justin Ryan who keeps on telling the others that he is the star of the BBC Three documentary, My Inguinal Hernia and Me. But the others are not so sure. The one that used to be in Mystique but now sells hats has her doubts. “I’m sure he’s served in me in KFC,” said the one that used to be in Mystique but now sells hats.
