Members of Parliament have expressed their overwhelming relief over the news that Speaker Michael Martin is to step down. Martin will relinquish his post in order to cover up for a collective failure of government. Representatives from all parties have insisted that it would make “a really good diversion from the utter shambles that has passed for a democratic system over the past decade.” Martin was considering how to exactly go about making the empty gesture but sources close to the Speaker have said, “It will be a token act to end all token acts.”The Speaker has come under increasing pressure to carry the can for parliamentarians’ rampant greed ever since it became public knowledge, leading to angry questions from their constituents. Conservative MP George Osborne said, “It’s about time someone made a futile gesture such as this. I’ve had all these people coming up to me and asking why I’ve been wasting their money. I’ve tried to explain to them that they should go home to their pleby house and do pleb things. But this has not gone down that well. Hopefully, this completely ineffectual act will provide some relief.”
